I should have known Alexis was going to ask questions, she is at that "why, why, why?" stage but for some reason I was still caught off guard when Alexis asked me "Why do I have LCHAD?" The first time she asked me it was so unexpected I just replied with the generic answer "you were born with it" she didn't ask anymore questions so I was off the hook. Later that night I was talking to Chris about it and realized Alexis deserved more of an answer. She was smart... she knows what is going on or at least she knows something is going on. I wasnt really sure what I was going to say, she's special? God knew she could handle it? What can you say? "Well kiddo me and your dad both carry the gene so your just that lucky 25%." Things like this don't come in your mom handbook when you give birth, nor is it something you chat about with your mom friends.
Even though I had no idea what I was going to say I waited for the perfect time to bring up LCHAD with Alexis and ask her what questions she had (other than the obvious "Why?") I needed her to be calm so she would actually listen.
At dinner last night, Hunter was in his high chair and Alexis & I were sitting at the dinner table. I took the plunge, I asked her if she wanted to talk about LCHAD. Of course she said yes, and I said you do know your special and that's why you have LCHAD, right? Then in so many words she asked why she has it now since Hunter just found out he had it. Holy cow, how does she know this! Either way I explained to her that Hunter got sick and they found out he had LCHAD so they just wanted to double-check her blood work.
*insert 3-year-old reminiscing about her last blood draw*
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| Heartbreaking conversation w/ Alexis about LCHAD |
I told her, her blood work came back that she was awesome and had LCHAD. She was pretty happy her blood work came back awesome but still not convinced LCHAD was here to stay. She kept asking when it would go away and when it would come back. Without knowing for sure that she has it (see earlier post, im still in denial) I really can't do much more convincing. So I just skipped ahead and told her that we will know at her next doctors appointment. The next appointment where they are going to check her eyes and then draw her blood.
"What!? Noooooo! I don't want my eyes checked" She then showed me where she got stuck the last time and covered it up. Poor kid. We talked about how everyone gets there eyes checked and she seemed okay with it & went on to tell me who she wanted to come to her doctor's appointment "Mom, Dad, Jake (our dog), Tanker (the cat).... no animals? What about a chicken?" Did you notice she didn't name Hunter? She told me she doesn't want him there, sorry kid he's going to the eye doctor too. Unfortunately, Dad starts his new job that day too so he wont be there. Alexis told me to text her Aunt Michele and ask if she would come. So hopefully it will be Alexis, Hunter, Me and Aunt Chele on this adventure to get Alexis answers and to make sure there eyes are okay.
Here is my not so professional advice about how to explain things to a preschooler
1. You can't avoid the topic forever, your better off just sitting down with them and explaining it
2. Make sure you catch them when they are calm, not bouncing off the walls. You want them to actually hear what you are saying.
3. Don't lie!
4. Somehow make it so they understand. If they have never heard you talk about it you might have to keep it simpler then if they have heard you talk to other adults about the disease.
5. Give them something to be excited about. ex: Alexis' blood work comes back "awesome." Now she's excited for her blood work to come back awesome.
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